This was a book that took me completely by surprise! Even though I’m a sucker for celebrity memoirs, I have never been interested enough in Pamela Anderson in order to be curious to read about her life in a book. I came across her documentary on Netflix, “Pamela, a Love Story“, through which I discovered that there might be more behind her sexy blonde bombshell image. Just days later, I found her autobiography donated for free by a stranger in a street in Zurich. Even though I would have never bought the book myself, I spent a surprisingly pleasant time reading it.

The book ended up being quite compact, with only about 200 out of the 240 total pages being fully filled with text, whereas a big amount of space was taken up by poems. Even though I’m not a fan of poems at all, there were quite a few that stood out to me and that I did enjoy reading. It’s definitely something different and makes the book stand out among so many other celebrity autobiographies being either co-written or even ghostwritten. The first one below instantly set the tone from the first pages on, illustrating how openly, vulnerably and honestly the rest of the author’s life story would be written about:

I was

and still am

an exceptionally

easy target.

And,

I’m proud of that.

My defenses are weak.

I’m not bitter,

I don’t have the craving to be hard,

heard, or taken seriously.

I prefer

To be fluid

and free,

without boundaries.

Leaving life to chance and destiny.

p. 3

It felt like Pamela’s story was a bit of a lesson to judge people less by their appearance and not underestimate their intelligence due to certain decisions in their lives. It was really interesting to read about how and why she ended up on her path, with a childhood marked by moments of sexual abuse, the experience of her brother having overdosed as a teenager and how she kept on choosing the men she was with based on the example of her own parents. The way she saw her appearances in the Playboy as a kind of revenge, taking back power as a woman, reminded me of certain moments that Emily Ratajkowski spoke about in her book of essays, “My Body“. She also reflected on some of the plastic surgery she has undergone, as well as the reasons behind those decisions:

I joked that my breasts had a career of their own, and I was just tagging along. Flashing back to the gym at the Playboy Mansion, where I agreed to amplify my chest like everyone else, then endured years of sordid attention I wasn’t ready for. Then came complications, the unexpected injuries that led to more surgery, a vicious cycle. I was fine the way I was. Someone once told me, when it came to surgery, it’s a paradox. “You may gain something, but you always lose something when you mess with Mother Nature”. I understand that sometimes it might be worth it, or necessary. In my case, it really wasn’t.

p. 100

What crystallised itself out of the memoir, was that Pamela really likes writing and that she has had quite a bit of practice throughout her life, even if it was just writing diary entries for herself before. The style was really simple, unembellished and it flowed well, beautiful in its simplicity. You got a really good feeling for her as a person, how important family was and is for her and how her kids became and stayed the center of her life. It sounded like despite a turbulent childhood her boys were well taken care of and there was even some parenting insights that could be taken along after reading, especially for single moms.

The best advice my parents gave me

was no advice.

They admitted to knowing nothing

of my world,

my journey

My dreams, passions and purpose.

p. 56

Another important theme that was touched upon concentrated on fame, celebrity and the downsides that come along with it. What it’s like to be surrounded by paparazzi at all times, having stalkers, needing to always be on guard and raising one’s children in such surroundings. It reminded me of Britney Spears’ downfall and how brutal the media can be into wanting to see you crumble.

Celebrity felt like

A strange disease

You couldn’t wash off.

p. 105

We needed to move to the moon, we though, to get away.

It felt like we couldn’t go anywhere, and it was taking its toll. There were car chases, sending people off the road into ditches, rocks through windows.

p. 123

Both the memoir and the documentary complement each other really well. You got some deeper insights through the book and the movie offered you unusual backstage glimpses into for example the latest project in Pamela’s career, performing on Broadway and training for it. You got to see the place where she decided to retreat to, the one where she was born, in order to escape the Hollywood craze.

Living on Vancouver island, you can’t mistake the blend of scents. The Salish Sea’s distinct salty, earthy fragrance, mingled with the wet wood of log booms and boats. My ranch on the water is a vortex, pot-stirring, volcanic, a powerful healing energy. It brings everything to the surface; you can’t help but be inspired.

p. 216

Surprisingly for myself, I would really recommend reading the book even if you have only been briefly aware of Pamela Anderson before. It illustrated really well what can hide behind a life of seeming glitz and glamour. The only reduction in the rating is due to a personal preference, not being drawn to poems but exactly this characteristic might be what could make others enjoy the book even more.

★★★★☆ (4/5)

_{Edition: ISBN 978-1-4722-9111-0
Headline Publishing Group, 2023}