Another book touching upon the topic of the war in Ukraine and another recommendation from my side! “The Death of a Soldier Told by His Sister“, as the title already suggests it, tells the story of how the author lived through her reality of losing her brother due to him being killed on the Ukrainian frontlines. She managed to do so in a very emotionally touching and stylistically beautiful way. A variety of topics found space within the approximately 200 pages, from the analysis of why Ukrainians that have once emigrated, decide come back to their home country, the difficulties of dealing with grief, the realities of the Ukrainian army, the discrimination towards women that still exists within it and insights into both the war that started in 2014, as well as the most recent full scale invasion by Russia into Ukraine in 2022.

The travellers rolled out of the carriages one by one like balls of wool from an overturned knitting basket; each leaving one end of the thread inside the train, or perhaps even in the station where they had boarded the train, and taking the other end with them wherever they were going, until there would be no more wool left to unroll.

p. 137

When the snow starts to fall everything falls silent. The crumbled diamonds drop from the sky and settle into a soft quilt, bonding with the layer beneath and waiting for others like them to form a layer above. Coat after coat of utter stillness. Of sparkling whiteness. Of soundless peace. From above, the winter landscape of the eastern Ukrainian steppe looks like one expansive duvet whose promise of warmth lures you into the inward cold. You dive into it and fall asleep forever.

p. 167-168

Just like the passages above, many parts within the book made me want to read them slowly, to savour the chosen words, even though a majority of them were difficult to digest and brought up strong emotions within me. I feel like this book could be extremely meaningful to Ukrainians who lost loved ones due to the war, to find some expression in their attempts of processing their sorrow. But also for those, who don’t have a personal link to the country, the story managed to construct an impactful narrative of what it means to look at war with a focus on the fates of individuals.

All in all, he spent two years on the frontline. When he was briefly demobilized between his first and second deployment, I tried to dissuade him from going back to the front. He listened to my pleas and said that he had nightmares every night when sleeping in his civilian bed. As soon as he returned to the warzone, the nightmares ceased. Maybe if you are living a nightmare, you have no time to dream of it. Or maybe civilian life, with its multiple shades of grey, simply can’t compete with the clarity of the warzone: at least there you know who your friends and who your foes really are.

p. 20-21

As you might be able to imagine, the subject matter is not for the faint of heart. While reading the story, I was sobbing while reading through multiple chapters. I’d therefore warn of going in prepared for an emotional rollercoaster ride if you decide to give the book a try. Nevertheless, I can imagine myself going back to the book after having finished it and revisiting some parts in the future. It was heartbreaking, important and impressively written. A full rating of 5/5 ★ is 100% deserved here!

If you have two siblings, and, after one of them dies, people ask you if you have any siblings, what do you answer? Do you say ‘I have two brothers?’ But that’s not true, because one of them is no longer around. ‘I had two brothers. Now I have one, because the other one is dead’? That is technically true, but it’s way too much information. People ask you questions about siblings to be polite; they don’t want to be traumatized by your family history.

p. 35

Whether we like it or not, we are socialized to value certain types of death and despise or fear other types. This makes it easier for one sister to say ‘my brother was killed on the frontline’ and much harder for another to say ‘my brother died of an overdose’ or ‘my sister took her own life’. A sister’s grief, however, is not commensurate with societal acceptance of her sibling’s death.

p. 131-132

★★★★★ (5/5)

_{Edition: ISBN 978-1-80096-121-0
Monoray, 2022 (first published in 2021)}